“Cartwright!” slurred Jill with a very
fake, very drunk grin stretched across her face, “Can I have ‘a word’?” She put
finger quotes around ‘a word’ and her drink sloshed out from the glass in her
hand to the floor. Lucy turned and sighed at the sound of her voice.
“Jill, you’re totally pissed,” she said
bluntly, “have some water.”
“I’m fine!” Jill protested, “You know I
can handle my drinky-winky super good!” she said, spilling her cocktail all
over her shoes and not seeming to notice. Lucy looked at Georgia and raised an
eyebrow at Jill’s antics. Georgia laughed and excused herself. She looked
around for Steve and hurried over to where he was standing with Neil and James.
“We may have a problem,” she said,
gesturing to where Lucy and Jill were. The three turned to look. James turned
to look at Steve and Neil.
“Fiver says it’s about one of you two.”
“Well what else would it be about? They
haven’t spoken for about a month and Jill’s drunk. It’s what she loves to talk
about when she’s drunk,” agreed Steve. He and Neil exchanged worried glances
and Steve wondered aloud if they should go over there and try and break it up
before it came to blows. They decided to try moving closer to listen in subtly.
“…because I still love you as my best
friend, I would never want to lose you, you mean so much to me,” Jill was
saying, “But I need to get this off my chest, you know?” Lucy smiled and
nodded. She turned to the barman and ordered another drink. She was going to
need it.
“Of course, babe,” she said to Jill,
“Any time you need to.” Jill’s face got very serious and she looked Lucy dead
in the eyes, standing as still as she could manage. She took a moment to think
about the words she was trying to get out before saying, “It’s about Neil.”
Steve high-fived James, a feeling of relief and victory washing over him. Neil
sighed and Georgia patted him sympathetically on the shoulder. They were about
to try and find somewhere to hide him when they heard Jill saying something
shocking.
“I never liked him. I only tried to get
him because you liked him and he liked you! I never really wanted to go out
with him. I’m sorry.” Lucy was having a hard time figuring out what had just happened.
Part of what she was experiencing was a relief that she hadn’t done anything
wrong (usually when she got confronted by Jill, Lucy discovered that she’d
committed some sort of heinous crime which she, funnily enough, never had any
memory of). The rest of her, though, was bewildered.
“But, you never did anything with Neil.
You always said you didn’t like him. You were constantly complaining that he
drove a wedge between us as friends and that my going out with him was the
reason we weren’t as close anymore. I don’t get what you mean.” Jill looked
around and then at the floor. Lucy tried again, “Jill?” she probed. Jill sighed
and lifted her gaze to meet Lucy’s eyes.
“I tried to get him to pick me over
you,” she admitted, “When you first went out with him, I tried to get close to
him as a friend so that I could try and take him like you took Steve from me!”
Lucy was taken aback. Next to them,
attempting to subtly spy on their conversation, Georgia and James gasped and
Steve groaned at the revelation that he was involved, too, while Neil was more
confused than anyone else.
“Wait, so is this about me ‘taking’
Steve from you by being friends with him four years ago even though I’ve told
you so many times that nothing did or will happen there and I was friends with
him before you two had even met, or about you going after Neil while I was going
out with him so that you could try and do to me what you imagine I did to you
with Steve, four years ago?” Lucy asked, getting gradually more enraged with
every word so that by the end she was nearly seething. The eavesdropping
foursome overheard and realised from Lucy’s tone that intervention was
necessary. Steve and Neil shot up and darted over, followed swiftly by Georgia
and James.
“Sorry, couldn’t help overhearing,”
said Steve, “Mainly because we were trying to, but still.”
“I was just letting Lucy know that
we’re even now,” Jill told him.
“Even? EVEN?” Lucy nearly roared, “What
the f-“
“We didn’t realise you were uneven in
the first place,” said Neil, grabbing Lucy’s shoulders as he did so and sitting
her back down.
“Well, she saboo… sab… sabut… ruined my
relationship with Steve, so I made us even by trying to do the same to her,”
slurred Jill, “But I guess you two were just too good at being a couple so I
couldn’t. Pooey. But it was for Claire as well.” Steve groaned again. Georgia
showed him her phone, having just texted Claire JILL VS LUCY AT BAR OVER STEVE/NEIL. HELP. X. If anyone could try
to save the situation now, Claire could.
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