9. Lucy

“Lucy looked at Steve and Steve looked at Lucy. Though they were in a drunken haze it was as if they were seeing each other for the first time. Each of them knew at that moment, in their heart of hearts that this was the person who they were truly meant to be with for all of eternity. Theirs was a deep love, buried beneath denial and only just being allowed to surface now, when- OW!”
         “Thank you, Lucy.”
         “Joey, can you pass me my shoe back please?”
         “Who throws a shoe? That was totally unnecessary, such an overreaction. You’re both in denial. All I was doing was describing the moment you two were just having. You desperately need to acknowledge your hidden love for one another.”
         “I still have another shoe,” pointed out Lucy, “This time I’ll aim better.”
         “I thought it was a pretty good shot.”
         “Steven, your input is not necessary here,” said Joe.
         “Neither was yours, that’s why you got a shoe aimed at you,” countered Steve. Joe feigned outrage and dramatically put his hand to his heart.
         “I was narrating your moment!”
         “We were not having a moment!” cried Lucy.
         “Yeah, she’s right. Just like you always are, my little shnookie-poo. You’re so clever and adorable my pookie-pie.” Steve cooed.
         “Oh honeybunch, you’re so sweet to me,” cooed Lucy in response, “What would my life be without my little googly-woo?” They continued to coo in this manner until Joe realised they were just mocking him and got up. As he walked to the kitchen he muttered, “Get a room. Finally.” He thought he had done so in a voice low enough to not be heard but getting a second shoe in the back of the head, followed by malevolent laughter, told him otherwise. In the kitchen he spun around and leaned over the breakfast bar, looking into the living room.
         “Just be aware that I can still see you from here. So no secret smooches.”
         “Don’t you have a lecture tomorrow morning? Like, at 9am?” Lucy reminded him. Steve groaned, he had one too. Lucy smiled, “Well you boys had better be getting off to bed then, no?”
         “Yeah, yeah. Mum.” Joe said sullenly. He walked over to Lucy and gave her a kiss on the cheek and a cuddle (or as much of a cuddle as he could, with Steve’s legs in the way. He didn’t understood why they felt the need to top-and-tail all over the sofa like that every time as if it were the most comfortable position in the world, or how Lucy could put up with Steve’s feet in her face) and trotted up the stairs like a good boy to an early bedtime. Steve groaned again and stretched out, accidentally-on-purpose putting his feet on Lucy’s face.
         “Ew, Steve! You’re so disgusting! Go to bed!” she laughed, shoving his pongy socks along with the rest of him off the sofa.
         “You love it,” he said, “Almost as much as you love Ca- OW!”
         “I threw both my shoes at Joe but I can still kick you.”
         “Clearly. Ow.”
         “And a very good night to you too, Mr. Steven Lewis,” Lucy said in her poshest voice, attempting to bow even though she was lying on the sofa.
         “Night, Luce,” said Steve. He paused. Then, “Luce?”
         “Yeah?” she sat up.
         “I’m sorry. About… well about last night for a start. And then about you and Carter. He was an idiot and I didn't like him at all but your sadness is my sadness and all that bull.” Lucy looked at him for and smiled sweetly.
         “Thanks. You can be a bit of a moron sometimes but I do still love you.” They stayed still for a second, Steve standing and Lucy sitting, then Steve knelt down and gave her a hug. He hated that anything could make her sad, he wanted to protect her. In a brotherly way, of course. He pulled back from the hug slightly and the two of them stayed still again, keeping their arms locked together. Then, suddenly, as if from nowhere, came a voice both of them thought had gone to bed:
         “Now that’s a moment!”
         “Joe!” yelled Lucy.
         “What? I needed some chamomile to send me to sleep and I just happened to walk in on your little love fest. So what is this? Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?” he asked, turning on the kettle and chuckling at his own witticism.
         “You are so camp.” Steve said.
         “Er, yeah. Duh.” came the response from Joe. Lucy sighed and got up, walking over to the kitchen.
         “Firstly, I can’t be bothered to give you a French lesson right now, so I’m going to do the next best thing: assure you that Steve and I did not just have a moment and are not going to elope to Wales or do any of your other ridiculous suggestions. So you can save your narration this time, or I’m going to have to find another shoe.”
         “What is it with shoes and hurting me today? Fine, no moment. But what was secondly?”
         “I beg your pardon?”
         “You said firstly and then no secondly,” Steve explained, “Is there actually a secondly at all?”
       “Oh. Right. Well how about this: secondly, I’m going to bed. Goodnight.” With that, she kissed them both on their cheeks and raced up the stairs to the bathroom, five minutes later, she came out and went into her room. She could still hear the boys talking downstairs but she turned on her radio and got out a book to read until they went to sleep. It was so nice of Steve to say that, he really is a sweetie deep down. I do love him, he’s like my knight in shining armour. In a sisterly way, obviously.