Goin' to the chapel and she's... gonna get married!

So, my dear best friend (whom I adore eternally) has finally set a date for her wedding! Mind you, she's been engaged over a year, and then decides to set the date for two months away (no, she's not pregnant). Which means I get to be maid of honor in an outdoor, afternoon wedding... in August. Well, should I ever be in another bridal party, at least I know that this will likely be my sweatiest wedding, unless some godforsaken soul decides to have a wedding on the surface of the sun.

I am actually very excited for her (blah blah blah lovey marriage stuff barf), because though she's been engaged for a while, there is nothing like walking into a bridal shop for the first time to make you realize, "Shit, she's getting MARRIED." I mean, that's something adults do-- while I feel trapped in my arrested adolescence, never to emerge, while she's all mature (eh hem... maybe not) and such.

We're already done with the dress shopping, which overall was less of an ordeal than I thought. I am going to end up with a lavender dress, which I will probably never find an occasion to wear again, but it is quite attractive, shockingly enough. Also, relatively light and sleeveless, which will decrease the risk of heat-stroke, come the wedding. Considering the ring of hell that dress shopping is in, I can't complain about the experience.

Weddings should have their own cult, I swear. It's obscene how much things cost, how serious some people take the wedding. We spent more time making fun of ourselves than anything else, while looking at dresses. Well, okay, we also spent a leetle bit of time mocking ugly dresses. Some people at the store though... wow. Okay, enough wedding-type gibber-gabber.

Speaking of cults (queen of the segue I am), I would totally join a Coldplay cult. I'm so not even joking-- I love their music so much, I am completely fine with people mocking me incessantly for loving them. Their new single from the new album (not out yet) is in heavy rotation on late-night video channels, et j'adore il. I am going out and buying that album ASAP, bitches. So mock me-- a shit I give not.

Obviously, by the Yoda-esque grammar in the previous sentence, I've seen Episode III. It was good... the acting was less than stellar from some, and the dialogue was just a teensy bit wooden, but it was still pretty good. A few extremely mockable lines, of course. I know this is just me, but any sentence that contains the word "Wookie" makes me laugh. On a side note, that word makes me think of Barbara Walters, for no good reason. I keep saying, "Wookie of the year," and then laughing. Cause I'm lame like that.
I have but one thing to shout, and all of the previous viewers may "bellow" it with me (I'm looking at you, Sundry) . Ready? *clears throat*
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is all, my dears. Sleep well, for I will not.

I'm such a pansy-assed bitch.

I am the biggest chicken in the world, I shit you not. Tonight, a friend of mine was describing a game (on GAMECUBE, no less, one of the least "adult" systems) and it was freaking me out just hearing her talk about it!

I have to walk down the street to get to my house. I just got home (It's about 1:30 am, after watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail, because my life is a never-ending thrill ride), and there is a GIANT raccoon rooting around in the trash cans outside. A neighbor has been feeding the raccoon (they are now selling their house, which means they fed the raccoon regularly, got it all pushy and annoying, and then they leave the area and us with the raccoon from hell). I've never seen a raccoon so bold as to go up the street and knock over 4 trashcans, which is the case tonight.

So, I have to walk past the raccoon, who luckily isn't so outlandishly tamed as to approach me. I innocently start out by saying, "Oh, I don't want to hurt any raccoons, just want to get to the house. Yep, no raccoon haters around here. Just little ol' me. Certainly don't want any of that garbage-- that's all for you." The raccoon has already returned to trying to open a trash can, and the trashcan rolls a little bit-- but I think the sound it's making is actually the raccoon growling, so I shriek.

That's right. I shriek, outside my perfectly nice neighbors' houses, in the middle of the night. There are no lights on. No-one woke up, though. Not very reassuring, come to think of it, in the event that there was something worse outside than a large, likely-not-rabid raccoon.

So, I finally end up walking very s-l-o-w-l-y down the street, shaking my keys furiously all the way. The raccoon was off in someone's yard, and did not impede my steady progress.

So, no rabies. But I feel like a pansy-assed bitch! Raccoons are so cute, after all.

I think I may be paranoid.

The other day I read an article (I think in Time) where it had been discovered that the White House had blocked people that had voted for Kerry (or maybe just not Bush) in the 2004 election from being in some dull commitee which reviewed telecommunications or some such. Wait! I found it!

(Copyright Time® magazine)
"May. 2, 2005

The Inter-American Telecommunication Commission meets three times a year in various cities across the Americas to discuss such dry but important issues as telecommunications standards and spectrum regulations. But for this week's meeting in Guatemala City, politics has barged onto the agenda. At least four of the two dozen or so U.S. delegates selected for the meeting, sources tell TIME, have been bumped by the White House because they supported John Kerry's 2004 campaign.

The State Department has traditionally put together a list of industry representatives for these meetings, and anyone in the U.S. telecom industry who had the requisite expertise and wanted to go was generally given a slot, say past participants. Only after the start of Bush's second term did a political litmus test emerge, industry sources say. The White House admits as much: "We wanted people who would represent the Administration positively, and--call us nutty--it seemed like those who wanted to kick this Administration out of town last November would have some difficulty doing that," says White House spokesman Trent Duffy. Those barred from the trip include employees of Qualcomm and Nokia, two of the largest telecom firms operating in the U.S., as well as Ibiquity, a digital-radio-technology company in Columbia, Md. One nixed participant, who has been to many of these telecom meetings and who wants to remain anonymous, gave just $250 to the Democratic Party. Says Nokia vice president Bill Plummer: "We do not view sending experts to international meetings on telecom issues to be a partisan matter. We would welcome clarification from the White House." --By Viveca Novak and John Dickerson "

So, anyway, as a result, everytime I've signed one of moveon.org's many petitions, or sent an e-mail to my *political representitative of choice* about some issue or another, I keep imaging the "White House" going, "There's that damn Chloe again. Prevent her from going any comissions in which we may be represented badly." (or something)

This administration pisses me off. Mind your own fucking business, ridiculously oversized goverment!

I just signed a petition to help prevent John Bolton from becoming an U.N. ambassador, which is why I thought of it.

Watch what you check out at the library, people!

The joys of procrastination.

I just finished that godawful final I've been doing 95% of my studying for (well, since my Calc final, anyway). How did I do? How the fuck should I know? Here begins the frustrating wait. I've already been checking my calc. grades once a day for the past few days, and I was doing okay in that class. But I don't know which teacher was going to grade it... and blah blah blah.

Moving on to bathroom etiquette (a topic I can never leave alone), I was just in there, to blow my nose (shut up, allergies!) and someone had done several things that violate good manners and hygiene. Also, it smelled like Cheeto's in there, so I'm not going to be eating cheeto's for a few years. Blargh. If you're in college, shouldn't you have figured out the way to use a toilet by now? I'm just saying. She better not come to my home improvement warehouse.

What else, what else? Clearly, I have one more final to study for (which I have not even cracked a book on, since I had three others to be pissing myself about), and I REALLY don't want to get started. I have five hours and nineteen minutes, as of now, to study an entire semester's worth of useless material... and for some reason, I want to procrastinate more!

Er... hem... I think I'm going to go do a little blog surfing. Then I'll get right down and study. In that smelly room, to atone for my procrastination. Yeah.

Or maybe I'll type another boring entry. Nah, two of these in one day would make any potential reader die of boredom.

Desole, et au revoir! (My french final was first this morning)

Fucking panties.

I fucking hate these panties! It's time to do the laundry, cause now all I have left are granny panties or other disabled underpants. I'm out of comfortable socks, too-- all I have left are the hot pink nylon socks.

Too much information? Whatchutalkinbout, Willis?